Simple questions, such as “How are you?”, “Have you eaten yet?”, “What’s wrong with you?”, “Where do you want to go?”, and so on, can be perceived differently depending on the cultural context and situation.
This question is commonly used by people to open a conversation. This speech act is very important in establishing social relationships. However, the way people interpret this expression is very diverse.
In some places, these questions may be considered mere small talk. However, in other places, these questions should be answered seriously or, conversely, should not be asked because it could be considered an invasion of privacy.
In most Western countries, for example, every time you finish paying at a store or restaurant, people usually say “Bye” (in the local language). Sometimes, this expression is even added with the words “Have a nice day” or “Have a nice weekend” to the cashier who is serving you.
Meanwhile in Indonesia, such expressions are not common. Generally, after completing a transaction, people just say, “Thank you” and leave.
Small talk is often associated with politeness in communication . Therefore, language classes should include intercultural competency training so that students can understand how to use small talk in a cultural context. Understanding the intercultural nuances of language use is important to avoid misunderstandings when communicating.
Politeness is bound by context and time
A 2020 study compared user interactions on X—formerly Twitter—(in English) and Weibo (in Mandarin). The results showed significant differences in politeness.
On Weibo, for example, future-oriented speech and expressions of gratitude are considered more polite than on Twitter. Conversely, discussing taboo topics such as death and using informal language are considered impolite on Weibo.
In other words, standards of politeness can vary by culture. Weibo users in China have a strong collective culture , where social harmony is highly valued in society. Therefore, they are very careful not to show negative emotions (anger, dislike, fear, etc.) directly. Whereas in the United States (US), Twitter users who are more individualistic tend to do the opposite.
However, standards of politeness are not only influenced by culture, but also by the context of time. Something that was considered good and civilized in the past, may now be considered impolite even though it is done in the same culture.
In France, for example, people used to call young single women “ Mademoiselle ” (Miss). Meanwhile, “ Madame ” (Mrs.) was the term given to married women. After a few decades, this practice was considered annoying and discriminatory because it emphasized the women’s marital status too much.
As a result, the use of the word “ Mademoiselle ” was gradually avoided in everyday communication. On February 21, 2012, the French government officially removed the word from all administrative documents , and henceforth used the term “ Madame ” universally for all adult women, regardless of marital status.
Several other francophone countries did so even before the French policy was enacted. For example, Switzerland in 1973 , Quebec, Canada in 1976 , Luxembourg in 2012 , and Belgium in 2015 .
This shows that over time, standards of politeness continue to evolve. Things that were once considered appropriate may now be inappropriate or even impolite. Changing standards of politeness require ongoing adjustment, especially in terms of competence to understand and use a language.
Intercultural competence vs linguistic competence
The Council of Europe stresses the importance of teaching intercultural skills in language learning in formal education. This is done as an effort to teach tolerance and understanding towards multicultural and multilingual societies.
In Switzerland, for example, state schools hold student exchanges for second language learning ( language stay ). The goal is to strengthen students’ mastery of the national language and intercultural competence. This is because Switzerland has four official national languages, namely German, French, Italian, and Romansh, which are spread across four linguistic regions that also differ geographically based on the speaking community.
Student exchange programs usually last from a few days to an entire academic year to encourage direct interaction between students from different language communities.
With an emphasis on acquiring intercultural competence, the European Centre for Modern Languages even highly recommends that language stay activities be carried out on a wider scale, for example between countries in Europe.
Maximizing the role of language teachers
The intercultural approach in language learning aims to prepare students to not only master grammar and vocabulary (linguistic competence), but also understand and respect cultural differences which are an important foundation for creating good communication .
This means that language teachers play an important role in shaping students who have broad and open insights or perspectives. In practice, teaching intercultural skills in a foreign language is not limited to conveying information about the culture of a particular country.
A language can have different positions in different countries. For example, French, which is also used in more than 30 countries outside France , is considered a foreign language in many places. Malay, which is the official language in Malaysia, Singapore, and Brunei Darussalam, is also one of the regional languages in Indonesia . Therefore, teaching foreign languages also needs to include intercultural aspects in these countries.
Language teachers can design activities that enable students to analyze their own experiences of other cultures, for example based on information they have heard or read.
In addition, teachers can also provide factual information about how to live in a particular cultural context and invite students to compare it with their own culture. For example, students can be asked to compare a foreigner’s view of their home country with their own personal experiences.
This approach can help students develop intercultural awareness and skills without having to directly experience a foreign culture abroad.
Small talk questions that often arise during extended family gatherings, such as “When are you getting married?” or “Don’t forget to bring souvenirs!” during a vacation should be understood contextually.
In some cultures, such questions may be considered as a form of attention or friendliness. However, in other cultures, similar questions may be considered rude or even inappropriate. Therefore, intercultural competence is needed to complement linguistic competence to ensure that communication is good, relevant, and not offensive to anyone.
Author Bio: Elga Ahmad Prayoga is a Doctoral student at the University of Geneva
Tags: small talk
