Educating digital citizens represents a new way of being parents.

Digital devices have become our inseparable companions, and increasingly so at younger ages. A reality that presents both opportunities and risks for everyone, but especially for children. Social concern is high, and many countries are considering legislative measures to protect minors in digital environments. But beyond legislative measures, one of the keys to healthy digital use is the role of families. Traditionally, we’ve talked about parenting styles based on the amount of control and affection parents exert. There are authoritarian styles (rigid rules without dialogue), permissive styles (a lot of affection, little guidance), and democratic styles (a combination of clear rules and emotional support). However, the arrival of the internet has added a new dimension that families must manage. In addition to the traditional context, families must now deal with the digital environment, full of new and changing risks. The concept of ” online parental mediation ” has emerged, which seeks to promote healthy and responsible internet use, maximizing its benefits and minimizing its risks.

Online parental mediation strategies

There are various strategies within online parental mediation , grouped into several dimensions :

Active mediation: This involves parents directly participating in their children’s digital activities, such as playing video games together.
“Couso” or “co-viewing”: Refers to the shared use of technology, such as watching a movie with the family.
Monitoring or supervising: Controlling what your child does online by checking apps or websites they use.
Technical mediation: Use of tools, such as browser filters, to limit inappropriate content.
Reverse mediation: Initiated by the child, who asks the parents for help or advice on the use of a social network.
Restrictive mediation: Setting strict limits, such as reducing screen time.

What works best?

There is no consensus on which strategies are most effective for reducing excessive screen use. Some studies indicate that restrictive strategies are useful for limiting risky behaviors, while co-use or co-viewing can, in some cases, increase risks. Enabling mediation (each of the aforementioned mediations except restrictive mediation) appears most useful for fostering autonomy and responsible use. On the other hand, in complex situations such as cyberbullying, a combination of restrictive and enabling mediation is most effective . Disagreement about how to approach online parental mediation arises, in part, because, as in real life, strategies are applied simultaneously or in combination, and rarely is one strategy applied alone. Recent studies have begun to look more holistically at families who are actively involved in their children’s online activities. There is no single ideal model for mediation, but there does seem to be a key idea: the more diverse strategies and actions taken to guide them, the fewer problems children will experience when using the internet. This can include establishing clear rules about usage time and types of apps, regularly checking their phones, using certain apps together, or explaining specific risks of using an app.

Parenting 3.0: the digital and the real as a whole

With this in mind, some researchers propose the concept of parenting 3.0 or total parenting, a broader approach that combines traditional parenting and online mediation . In this new perspective, parenting is no longer viewed solely through offline affection and control , but instead incorporates digital skills and specific strategies to address the challenges of an interconnected world. Parenting 3.0 proposes a comprehensive approach in which the digital and the physical or in-person worlds are naturally intertwined in families’ daily lives. It seeks to respond to the reality of children, which is extraordinarily fluid and often has no defined boundaries between the two. It involves incorporating support and supervision in the digital realm into the real-life role of parents. To safely practice this type of parenting, it is necessary to provide resources, training and support to families .

Family contracts or agreements

A useful tool for implementing parental mediation at home is parental contracts . These are agreements between parents and children regarding technology use, aimed at establishing clear limits and responsibilities to foster a safe and healthy digital environment. Parental contracts should be adaptive, adjusting to the needs of each family and the different developmental stages of children. Some key points that should be covered in the contract include:

Device Types: Define which devices are allowed and when they can be used (mobile, tablet , computer, video games).
Usage time: Establish a total daily usage time and adjust it according to specific applications or activities.
Content and applications: Control access to content and use filters to ensure the appropriateness of applications and social networks.
Digital Responsibility: Include rules about online safety, such as not sharing personal information and being respectful.
Couso and active mediation: Encourage parents’ participation in digital activities. For example, playing video games together or watching TV shows and discussing them.
Monitoring: Establish how and how often parents will monitor online activities.
Consequences of breaching the contract: Define clear consequences, such as reducing screen time or deleting apps.
Periodic review and adaptability: Regularly review the contract to adapt it to new stages and changes in technology.

Ultimately, the goal is for families to continually adapt, responding sensitively and flexibly to their children’s digital demands. It’s not just about limiting, but also about supporting and educating. Setting limits without educational value is rarely effective. Thus, parenting in the digital age is not only about reducing risks, but also about taking advantage of the opportunities that technology offers for the learning and holistic development of children and adolescents. Parenting 3.0 is the necessary evolution to ensure that our children become competent and emotionally healthy digital citizens, both online and offline. Author Bios: Joaquín Manuel González Cabrera is Professor and Principal Researcher of the Cyberpsychology Group and the Emotional Well-being Area at the Institute for Transfer and Research (ITEI), Adoration Diaz Lopez is Professor at the Faculty of Education and Researcher at the Cyberpsychology Group, Antonio David Sevilla Fernández is a Predoctoral Researcher in Psychology and Vanessa Caba Machado is Professor at the Faculty of Education and Postdoctoral Researcher in the Cyberpsychology group all at UNIR – International University of La Rioja